No Strings Attached is about two college students, Lindsay
and Jerod. Lindsay and Jerod meet in a bar and very quickly become friends with
benefits. At the beginning of their “encounters” Jerod lets Lindsay know he
isn’t looking for a relationship because he just got out of one and he just
wants to be single for the time being. In a way Lindsay agrees with his
statement, although she seems hesitant about not wanting to be in a
relationship. This causes her some uncertainty, as a way for her to manage it
she rationalized the reasons on why, such as it’s her first year of college,
and she’s having fun without being tied down. As the “relationship” develops
their encounters start to become a pattern, although their autonomy remains.
On the part of Jerod, he’s enjoying the circumstance he has
with Lindsay, he feels it’s stable. He gets to do what he wants and he’s free
from having a relationship with someone. On the other hand, Lindsay starts to
feel there isn’t any stability in the relationship. Stability is the
predictableness a relationship has, both parties know what’s going on, they
follow the rules, and they’re not thrown for a loop. The lack of stability
causes Lindsay a great amount of turbulence and uncertainty, which is a period
of high levels of reaction. For example Lindsay is bothered by how Jerod
doesn’t call or text her until the early hours of the morning, and if they were
to go to the bars or a party they would just get drunk, hook up, and pass out. It’s
these types of episodes that cause Lindsay a great amount of turbulence and
uncertainty. Through relational negotiation, Lindsay manages the turbulence and
uncertainty by realizing she wants stability and integration with Jerod by
wanting to be a part of his life. Although
Jerod doesn’t feel the same, he develops an interest in Jenna and prefers to
try having a relationship with her. Lindsay finds out by witnessing their
encounter at Jerod’s party and realizes wants going on.
I can relate to Lindsay’s situation on the difficulty of not
knowing for certain what I want in a relationship, like her I had partaken in
the friends with benefits a couple of times. Based on my experience, it’s
something I now refuse to do. I personally don’t see a future in this type of “relationship”.
It can cause a lot of hurt for one person, especially when feelings are not
mutual shared or by having the other person meet someone else. I also noticed Lindsay
illustrated the expression contradiction of relational dialects a couple of
times by being open with her friend Whitney, and by discussing what was
occurring between herself and Jerod. I feel this had also helped Lindsay in
managing the uncertainty and turbulence she felt.
Consuelo, I also found that this case is very interesting and relative. I thought you brought up a good point about the fact that Lindsay was able to step back and assess her situation. Lindsay found that she was becoming unhappy and her needs were unsatisfied in her relationship with Jerrod. I believe your assessment of how she handled the situation through relational negotiation is an accurate depiction of why Lindsay was able to realize this may not be the kind of relationship she wants. Lastly, I thought how you shared this is something you have been through is personable and relatable. This type of friends with benefits relationship is something that is common and its a matter of how people handle it that create a positive relationship.
ReplyDeleteConsuelo, I like your comments about the relationship not being stable. It reminds me of a toy that my cousins had. The toy itself was just a board and wheel, and the purpose of it was to balance on the board on the wheel. I was never able to balance very well, and even with practice, it was hard. The slightest movement could set the board on the ground and you'd have to start all over again. I imagine it's a lot like Jerod and Lindsay's relationship. You may start out fine, but little movements can send it to the ground. It also takes a lot of work and energy to balance on that board. Constantly tired and stressed people do not make for happy relationships.
ReplyDeleteConsuelo,
ReplyDeleteI like your analysis of this case. You make some really good points. I agree with you that Lindsay is feeling some high levels of uncertainty towards her relationship with Jerod, and in turn, that is causing turbulence within the relationship. I also liked that you highlighted the episodes that are occurring within Lindsay and Jerod's relationship that is sparking a lot of the uncertainty that Lindsay is feeling. I feel as though Lindsay hasn't quite come to terms with what she's feeling towards Jerod and the relationship though. It's pretty clear that she has some deeper feelings towards Jerod, and might want the relationship to progress further, but I don't think she's fully come to terms with that fact herself yet. At least, not enough to admit it.
I do also agree with you that a friends-with-benefits relationship doesn't usually progress into anything further, and I think its a very unhealthy relationship to have in general in terms of emotional stability.
Consuelo,
ReplyDeleteI think you did a great job in analyzing the case "No Strings attached". I like how you explained how she managed or lived with the uncertainty developing in their relationship. You did a wonderful job of explaining both parties and where they are in this "relationship". I also like how you hint of Lindsey s slight uncertainty from the beginning. I appreciate how you also shared your personal experience making to help strengthen your point. Great job!
by Jason Flack
DeleteConsuelo,
ReplyDeleteYour blog on this case study was a great read. I especially liked your personal story and analysis in the last paragraph. It often times is a win-lose type of relationship. One person develops feelings and ends up getting hurt based on their expectations of a blossoming relationship that is not supposed to happen.
I definately feel for Lindsay. I felt bad for her because she had developed feelings that Jerod had no intention of creating for himself. I think that their agreement to only have a physical relationship with each other hurt them. It did not allow them to go through a normal dating pattern where they were able to break down their uncertainity of each other and grow into a closer couple. It was almost painful to try to put myself in Lindsay's shoes as she witnessed the exchange between Jenna and Jerod.
ReplyDeleteHi Consuelo,
ReplyDeleteI liked your case analysis. Friends with benefits is a difficult type of situation to enter in. It seems as though someone always ends up in the position of Lindsay who becomes invested and then gets hurt while the other in this case Jerod appears to be having fun with the situation. I liked the personal experience that you added in your analysis it brought a little something extra to your case analysis.
Arilyn Kanak
Hey Consuelo,
ReplyDeleteI find your case study to be a really interesting one. It interests me a lot due to the fact that I have noticed that our generation tends to revolve around this type of living. I have been on both sides of the spectrum in being a part of a friends with benefits type of relationship. I believe that from my experiences and what I have been through that having that type of relationship can either strengthen the relationship between two people or one of the partners within the relationship will begin to want more and then potentially disrupt the norms set between each other being in the friends with benefits relationship that they are currently in. Generally when someone tries to mobilize the connection between the two in that certain type of relationship than there is a turbulence built and the two will gradually lose connection, but I have seen a few cases where mobilization of the relationship led to the two individuals within the friends with benefits relationship become significant other's.
Consuelo,
ReplyDeleteThis is a great analysis of this case study in particular. You went into great detail and included stuff we have been going over in the course. Lindsay definitely felt turbulence and uncertainty due to instability in the relationship. You were spot on, Lindsay managed her uncertainty by rationalizing reasons as the why she shouldn’t want to be tied down; regardless of how she was feeling. This definitely back fired for her and caused her to live through her uncertainty. Jerod on the other hand, like you stated, does in fact enjoy the rules of their relationship. He is able to maintain his autonomy and have ‘no strings attached.’
Great discussion,
Django.