Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Case Study Reflection


I enjoyed taking this course on Communication and Relationships. From this course I’ve been able to learn many different concepts, some I didn’t know about and others I was able to relate to. For this class, I had to select five different cases to analysis.  The five cases came from five different modules. Within each module were different communication concepts I had to apply to the case I was analyzing. From these cases is where I learned what the concepts meant and how to apply them.

The first case I analyzed was Moving Up. This case is about a young man named Jim who was becoming orientated with the law firm he was working for. This case introduced several communication and relationships concepts, such as the communication perspective, self in the context of the relationship, and relationship in the context of the self. These concepts were illustrated by Jim. Reading this case taught me how relationships are formed, managed, and change over time through the communication perspective. Relationships are governed by rules, making them dynamic. Meaning over time relationship change, once this occurs the rules that are established within the relationship would need to change. It’s these rules that help individuals manage their relationships from moment to moment. What I found interesting about this case is learning that individuals act on how they see themselves based on their relationships. This is called in the context of the relationship and self. For example, the relationship Jim has with this family helped formed his sense of self. In the law firm he works for, Jim views himself as a good attorney, although due to his upbringing and his relationship with this family, Jim’s sense of self hasn’t been established professionally.

The second case was No Strings Attached with Lindsay and Jerod. Lindsay and Jerod first met in a bar and quickly became friends with benefits. Part taking in a relationship such as theirs have shown some advantages and disadvantage that can occur. For example, each individual is able to manage their autonomy by decided when to see each other. Despite having this, usually one individual may start to feel the relationship isn’t stabile and would like more out of the relationship. Wanting more out of a no strings attached relationship can create uncertainly and turbulence, especially when the other individual doesn’t feel the same way. Managing uncertainly and turbulence can be done through relational negotiation in which the individual realizes what they need from the other individual. This case helped me to realize what can occur in this type of relationship and how hurtful it can be for one individual.

The third case was A Place for Connecting. This case is about four college students, David, Ben, Chloe, and Allison and how they managed their impressions on Facebook and in their interactions with one another. This case cover such concepts such as impression management, identity, close and interpersonal relationships, the enactment layer, rituals and episodes. What I learned from this case is how important it is for everyone to manage their impression, not only online but also in their personal life. After reading this case I’ve became more aware of the impression I’m sending out online and in my personal life. If I chose not to do this, others looking at my Facebook page may receive a false impression of myself or a miscommunication.

One of the major concepts that was highlighted in this case is secret keeping, topic avoidance, and miscommunication. When these three concepts are occurring at the same time, or even separately, it can pose a risk to a relationship, especially if it’s a close one.  What I learned is that it’s best not to divulge someone else secret nor to keep secrets from someone I have a close relationship with. The results of doing this can lead to a dissolving of the relationship if it cannot be repaired.

The fourth case, We’ll Never Be That Kind of Couple is about Emma and Jason moving next door to a couple who violently fights. This case highlighted several important concepts relating to relational violence, and what may occur if a relationship is plaque with it. Some of the concepts include bargaining strategy, competitive symmetrical interactions and hard emotions. Competitive symmetrical interactions occur when two individuals switch off on who provides the one-ups. A one-up is an act asserting control over another individual. It is commonly assumed relational violence comes in the form of physical fights. Although, with the help of this case I learned that assumption is false. Relational violence also includes verbal threats, intimidation, and acts of power control, such as competitive symmetrical interactions.

The fifth case, I’m Sorry For Your Loss is about how Susan Lawrence learned how to provide her best friend Libby Johnson emotional support after the death of her mother. In this case I learned such concepts as reappraisal of emotions, dialectical tension, and most importantly when and how to provide emotional support. Being able to provide emotional support is an essential part of every relationship. Emotional support doesn’t end after a day, instead it’s an ongoing process. Being able to provide this correctly will show the other individual you accept them, you’re interested and open to hearing their personal feelings, and you’re able to help them through the difficult time they may be going through.

After analyzing and applying the concepts to the cases, I feel I’ve been provided with essential information. The application of the concepts helped me to understand the cases more proficiently and it taught me the correct format of how to use them. To answer the question on whether or not I’ll be taking what I learned from this class with me, the answer is yes. I realized a couple of weeks ago I’ve already started using some of the concepts I’ve learned and applied them into my personal and professional life.

I would like to personally thank all my classmates and professor for helping me understand the material, as well as giving me positive feedback on this blog. I wish every one of you the best of luck in all your future endeavors.

Monday, April 20, 2015

I'm Sorry for Your Loss


The case I’m Sorry For Your Loss is about how Susan Lawrence learns how to provide her best friend Libby Johnston emotional support after the death of her mother. Susan and Libby are close friends. Their co-orientation towards one another has insured their friendship for the past 15 years. This co-orientation includes Libby parents, especially her mother Marianne. The three of them spent several afternoons baking cookies and giggle about a neighbor boy. Marianne also supports the girls during their volleyball games and was there to help them cheer on the school’s football team.

It was during one afternoon while the three of them where baking cookies when Marianne learned about her fatale diagnosis. From that time on Susan was there to provide Marianna and Libby emotional support. As Libby was coping with her mother, Libby had to reappraise her emotions. Reappraisal of emotions is reframing an emotional response by trying to figure out new ways on how to cope with a situation so the individual may feel better. Libby accomplished this by becoming a little bit quieter, and by not returning to college temporary so she can spend time with her mother.

After the death of her mother, experiencing the hard emotion of hurt Libby became quieter. She was trying to reappraise her situation by staying at home and spending time with her father. Two months went by without Susan and Libby having contact. Susan wasn’t aware of what was going on with Libby. She assumed Libby would be fine. In turn, Susan invited Libby out on a summer outing to meet someone; only to find out Libby wasn’t interested. This causes Libby to become angry with Susan for not caring about her feelings. To put meaning into these actions, Susan discontinued providing Libby emotional support because she wasn’t certain on how. Instead Susan went on with her life. Libby in turn needs Susan so she disclose her feeling about how much she misses her mom. Although, she feels like Susan wouldn’t understand. With each girl feeling uncertain about the other it causes a great amount of turbulence and uncertainly in their friendship which leads to a dialectical tension. According to the dialectical theory there is a tension between two voices, autonomy and integration.

After the summer, on a whim Susan enrolled in a death and dying course. Susan felt this class could help her understand what Libby was going through. One day after class, Susan approached her professor Dr. Harrison and discloses her feelings regarding Libby and their friendship. Dr. Harrison proved to be a good resource for Susan. She taught Susan about the grieving process and how it was normal for Libby to be withdrawal and sad for the time being. To provide Libby emotional support, Susan learned she needed to allow Libby the freedom to be in the stage of grief that she is in. One of the best things for Susan to do right now for Libby is to accept this.  Susan can further help Libby by listening to her talk about her mother and her feeling, if Libby wanted to. Dr. Harrison went further along to explain how it’s important for Susan to provide Libby the emotional support on continuous bases. Providing emotional support doesn’t end after a day, instead it’s an ongoing process. The case ends with Susan surprising Libby at her mother’s grave site. After asking why she was there, Susan tells Libby how much she misses Marianne and apologizes for not being there for her, then she offers Libby the chance to talk.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

We'll Never Be That Kind Of Couple


The case, We’ll Never Be That Kind of Couple is about Emma and Jason moving next door to a couple who violently fights. The neighbor’s fights are loud and aggressive to the point where physical abuse comes into play. At the beginning of this case Emma acknowledges how she and Jason do tend to argue, although not as bad as their neighbors. Despite their arguments, both individuals promise one another not to become like the couple next door.

As Emma and Jason adjust to living at their new residence, they slowly begin to fight as violently as the couple next door. At first, their fights are pretty mediocre to say the least. For example, during one evening Emma and Jason were watching Grey’s Anatomy when Jason illustrates a one-up by turning the channel to watch the first round of Major League Baseball playoffs. A one-up is an act asserting control over another individual. Emma’s reaction to Jason’s action is what helped to develop the fight. In response to Emma, Jason tells her she can watch the show on the internet the following day. Hearing Jason’s response angered Emma, she didn’t want to miss a part of her favorite show. When she noticed Jason wasn’t complying with her request on turning the channel, she illustrates a one-up by trying to impose the power ploy bargaining strategy. A bargaining strategy involves doing something for someone if they agree to do something for you. Emma fails in her attempt and had to accept a one-down. A one-down is an act in which an individual accepts the leadership or control of the other individual. Accepting the one-down, Emma went upstairs to finish watching her show. The following morning a one-across act was illustrated. Neither individual asserted nor accepted control from one another, feeling deeply hurt over the argument they chose not to communicate. At this point Emma and Jason share in a competitive symmetry interaction control pattern. A competitive symmetry interaction occurs when two individuals switch off on who provides the one-ups. Symmetrical acts can be a little problematic. When competitive symmetry acts frequently occurs in interactions it is called a symmetrical pattern

As the seasons change, Emma and Jason continued to overhear their next door neighbor. The longer they stay living next door, the more they realize how aggressive the neighbors are becoming. For example, during one argument the male illustrated jealousy towards the female, as well as physical abuse by shattering a glass and possibly hitting the woman.  Jealousy is one of the four hard emotions; the other three are anger, hurt and guilt. Individuals tend to feel jealous when they are deeply hurt, guilty and angry; it’s a blended and complex emotion. After the neighbors argument Emma and Jason also illustrated jealousy, resentment, and hostility in their own terms. For example, after arriving home one day, Emma felt irritated with Jason after realizing he was making pizza again. Jason violated her relational expectation for not being motivated in making her something special for dinner. During dinner, realizing Jason needed to talk, she openly snapped at him when asking what he needed to talk about. At this point Jason illustrates jealousy by confronting Emma about choosing to be friends with an ex-boyfriend on Facebook. Through Jason’s hostility, he insults Emma by calling her stupid. As the argument heats up Emma illustrates physical abuse when she pours her dinner items and drink down Jason’s pants. Jason illustrates acquiesce by giving up and leaving.

Once things settle down Emma and Jason both take responsibility for the way they reacted to each other and apologized. Noticing a negative pattern in their relationship they both decide to work on it. Emma and Jason negotiate to have a date night once a week as a way to curtail their arguments. It is after this negotiation when a turning point in the couple’s relationship occurred. Jason violated the relational expectation of date night with Emma by making plans to go out with his friends. Feeling like Jason doesn’t care about their relationship; Emma becomes hurt. As a way to apologize, Jason buys Emma a vase a flowers before going home. Thinking Jason was keeping his plans with his friends, Emma decides to go out as well. Emma’s interpretation of Jason’s plans causes another episode of fighting between them. Despite Jason’s change of plans, Emma continues with hers. Before Emma leaves she throws the vase of flowers down, shattering the vase. Her action was to show Jason what she thought about the flowers. In the morning, shaken from the results of the argument, Emma and Jason both apologized to one another. Realized their arguments are turning violent, both individuals negotiated not to resort to violence again.  

Individuals make their relationship and aspects of their relationship through communication. A pattern of control is another aspect of the relationship that is made. In Emma and Jason’s case their relationship is one of rational violence that is plagued with episodes of rational power control and hard emotions. Reading this case one could assume Emma and Jason are mirroring their next door neighbor’s relationship. Although, the difference between them and Emma and Jason relationship, is that Emma and Jason both realizes what is occurring. The case leaves off with Emma and Jason both negotiating to reframe their emotions by not resorting to violence again. Reframing is trying to put a different way of interpreting to what one feels. For example, counting to ten before responding when one feels a hard emotion. If Emma and Jason can work on reframing their emotions, refuse to participate in relational violent episodes, and create new rules to change their pattern of control over one another, than I believe over time their relationship can change into a positive one.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

A Place For Connecting....


A Place for Connecting is about how four college students, David, Ben, Chloe, and Allison manage their impressions on Facebook and in their interactions with one another. The case starts off with Ben receiving notification from the college he’ll be attending in the fall about his roommate David. Not knowing who David was Ben decided to look for him on Facebook. The impression and identity David gives off on Facebook is one of popularity, having a high interest in females, athletic, and someone who likes to party. Identity and impression are similar in meaning. Identity is how individuals see themselves and impression is how individuals present themselves to others. Individuals manage their impressions through impression management. From the impression Ben received he wasn’t comfortable with the dorm room arrangements. He was concerned with David posting athletic posters up on the walls and staying up all night to party. Due to David impression, Ben was also concerned about how David might derail his chances of receiving goods grades in college. In turn, viewing David’s Facebook page influenced Ben to go through his. Ben’s identity is one of being a good student and ambitious. On Facebook, Ben manages his impression by ensuring the constructed impression and his identity matched what he wanting to send out.
Once Ben got to college, he learned his impression of David was completely wrong. David was no longer identifying himself the way he did in high school. Instead, David was in the process of changing the enactment layer of his identity. David wanted to become more focused with college and to room with an individual, such as Ben, for influence and encouragement. In retrospect David is interested in developing an interpersonal relationship with Ben. Interpersonal relationships occur when two individuals influence one another, have repeated interactions and have a unique interaction pattern. The enactment layer is how we represent ourselves to others. It is presented through what we say, verbally or nonverbally, and the performances we put on for others.
Across the hall from Ben and David are Allison and Chloe. Allison and Chloe present themselves with having a close relationship, which is also exhibited through their Facebook page. Close relationships occur when two individual in an interpersonal relationship share an enduring bond, an emotional attachment and personal fulfillment. They have been friends for many years. What is also exhibited on Allison’s Facebook page is her identity of being popular and a cheerleader.
As the semester continues all four individuals become acquainted with each other and they started to bond. From their bonding, rituals were developed. For example, they spent time with each other by watching movies, having lunch or dinner in the dining hall, and playing Xbox.  Rituals are episodes with a special meaning and come with a special value. Towards the time of midterms, Allison suddenly became quieter; her impression towards Chloe had changed. She no longer wanted to socialize with Chloe or her other friends. The change in Allison caused Chloe a great deal of turbulences. Turbulence occurs when there’s a high level of reaction.
One day, before going to dinner, concerned with Allison absence from the group, Ben confronts Chloe. In turn, Chloe self-discloses her emotions to Ben. Wanting to solve the problem about Allison, Ben, using rationality, looks on Facebook for clues to figure out what is going on. It appeared on Facebook Allison hadn’t been on there for a while. After dinner, David checks his Facebook page and becomes surprised when he sees a recent post regarding Allison and her diagnosis of cancer. From seeing this, Ben and David both became confused. Despite not knowing Allison that long, they were under the impression they were good friends with her, and they thought she would have told them. When Chloe sees the post she becomes deeply hurt with Allison. She was also under the impression of them being close friends. What could’ve affect Chloe the most is how Allison didn’t go to her to discuss the situation. Chloe could very much be feeling Allison threatened the facework of their relationship by violating the rules of their friendship. Facework means the kind of effort we put into building our image within a relationship, it’s how the individual wants to be viewed within that relationship.  
From Allison’s perspective I feel the reason Allison couldn’t go to her friends is because of the uncertainty and turbulence she must have felt after finding out about the diagnosis. As a way for her to calm down and think rational, she vented on Facebook. According to the ventilation theory of emotion if we get it out, then we are better able to calm down. Allison could’ve also kept the information from Chloe because she wasn’t sure how to disclose it to Chloe. I feel Allison’s actions are being misinterpreted and her intentions were not to cause anyone harm.  Misinterpretation occurs when an unintended message by the sender is misconstrued by the receiver.
The case ends with Allison entering the room. From this point on I would like to believe Allison was able to restore the impression integrity of her and Chloe’s friendship by giving Chloe an account of her actions. I would also hope Chloe would be able to understand the position Allison is in and not hold it against her. After this circumstance I feel both girls would need to illustrate relational negotiation to negotiate new rules for their relationship. Their relationship is clearly in the mist of changing and with relationships being dynamic their relationship rules would also need to reflect the change.  
 
 

 

Monday, March 2, 2015

No Strings Attached


No Strings Attached is about two college students, Lindsay and Jerod. Lindsay and Jerod meet in a bar and very quickly become friends with benefits. At the beginning of their “encounters” Jerod lets Lindsay know he isn’t looking for a relationship because he just got out of one and he just wants to be single for the time being. In a way Lindsay agrees with his statement, although she seems hesitant about not wanting to be in a relationship. This causes her some uncertainty, as a way for her to manage it she rationalized the reasons on why, such as it’s her first year of college, and she’s having fun without being tied down. As the “relationship” develops their encounters start to become a pattern, although their autonomy remains.

On the part of Jerod, he’s enjoying the circumstance he has with Lindsay, he feels it’s stable. He gets to do what he wants and he’s free from having a relationship with someone. On the other hand, Lindsay starts to feel there isn’t any stability in the relationship. Stability is the predictableness a relationship has, both parties know what’s going on, they follow the rules, and they’re not thrown for a loop. The lack of stability causes Lindsay a great amount of turbulence and uncertainty, which is a period of high levels of reaction. For example Lindsay is bothered by how Jerod doesn’t call or text her until the early hours of the morning, and if they were to go to the bars or a party they would just get drunk, hook up, and pass out. It’s these types of episodes that cause Lindsay a great amount of turbulence and uncertainty. Through relational negotiation, Lindsay manages the turbulence and uncertainty by realizing she wants stability and integration with Jerod by wanting to be a part of his life.  Although Jerod doesn’t feel the same, he develops an interest in Jenna and prefers to try having a relationship with her. Lindsay finds out by witnessing their encounter at Jerod’s party and realizes wants going on.

I can relate to Lindsay’s situation on the difficulty of not knowing for certain what I want in a relationship, like her I had partaken in the friends with benefits a couple of times. Based on my experience, it’s something I now refuse to do. I personally don’t see a future in this type of “relationship”. It can cause a lot of hurt for one person, especially when feelings are not mutual shared or by having the other person meet someone else. I also noticed Lindsay illustrated the expression contradiction of relational dialects a couple of times by being open with her friend Whitney, and by discussing what was occurring between herself and Jerod. I feel this had also helped Lindsay in managing the uncertainty and turbulence she felt.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Case Study 3-Moving Up



In the case of Jim, there are several different communication and relationship concepts presented, such as the communication perspective, self in the context of the relationship, and relationship in the context of the self. All of these concepts are illustrated by Jim, the associates at the law firm, and his family.

The communication perspective is looking at all human experiences through a lens of what was made and how it was made, such as in human relationships. By using the communication perspective individuals are able to view how relationships are formed, maintained, and changed through communication. Through this perspective individuals also learn how relationships are dynamic, coordinated, and how they actively manage tension.

Relationships are dynamic in how they change and move through time and across relationships. Long term relationships have a rich set of rules that helps them to adjust moment to moment. Individuals in the relationship may also have internal signals in communicating with one another. At the law firm, the secretaries, paralegals, and other clerical workers are required to address attorneys by title, whereas the attorneys address everyone in the firm by their first names.  Although, Jim disagrees with the rule, with his boss’s secretary being 20 years old than him, he feels she should address him by his first name. Despite telling the secretary this, she continues to address him formally. The dress code at the firm requires all individuals to dress professionally and conducted themselves in a professional manner, such as through their language, and their job placement within the firm. For example, Jim’s boss, Marc Hughes informs Jim how he lacks the image the law firm asks of their attorneys to hold. According to Hughes, Jim lacks a professional language, dress attire, his car sends the wrong message to clients, and he lacks a professional relationship with the right people who can get him somewhere in the firm.
Informed. One other rule that doesn’t sit well with Jim is how he shouldn’t be helping the secretary fix a copier. According to Hughes Jim needs to focus on becoming the best lawyer that he can

Relationships are coordinated. Relationships change, coordination helps individuals make sense of the relationship at each moment through action and communication.
Jim’s relationship with his family is close, they are proud of his accomplishments and supportive with his role at the law firm. Although the further Jim progress in his career, his feeling of not fitting into his family is enhanced.  According to Jim there seems to be a lamented difference between him and his family due to the outlining professions each individual holds. At one point during a visit at his parent house, tension seemed too developed between himself and his father. The father doesn’t understand why Jim isn’t paid overtime for the amount he works, Jim is paid salary. As a result, Jim’s father announces how he should work at the garage so he can get paid overtime. As tension started to build, Jim’s Uncle Frank changed the topic.

Relationships actively manage tension by the completing demands individuals have to make.
Jim actively manages tension by purchasing a new dress attire, started to network with his associates and he watched his language.

Individuals assign meaning to each situation they come into contact with. Meaning helps us understand what is going on. Action involves how we respond to the meaning. At times our understanding changes according to our actions. Meaning and action is affected by the context of self and relationship when we respond and act on how the relationship is driven by the self. In the context of the relationship and self, individuals act how they see themselves based on their relationship.


The relationship Jim has with his family helped form his sense of self.  The way he acts, dresses, talks and relates to others is all influenced by his sense of self in relationship to his family. With the law firm, Jim see his relationship with them as wanting to be a good attorney. Although due to his upbringing from a blue collar family, Jim’s sense of self hadn’t be established professionally. To make sense of this, Jim set out to purchase a new dress attire, network with associates, and he started to develop a more professional language.

Saturday, January 24, 2015