A Place For Connecting....

A Place for Connecting is about how four college students, David, Ben, Chloe, and Allison manage their impressions on Facebook and in their interactions with one another. The case starts off with Ben receiving notification from the college he’ll be attending in the fall about his roommate David. Not knowing who David was Ben decided to look for him on Facebook. The impression and identity David gives off on Facebook is one of popularity, having a high interest in females, athletic, and someone who likes to party. Identity and impression are similar in meaning. Identity is how individuals see themselves and impression is how individuals present themselves to others. Individuals manage their impressions through impression management. From the impression Ben received he wasn’t comfortable with the dorm room arrangements. He was concerned with David posting athletic posters up on the walls and staying up all night to party. Due to David impression, Ben was also concerned about how David might derail his chances of receiving goods grades in college. In turn, viewing David’s Facebook page influenced Ben to go through his. Ben’s identity is one of being a good student and ambitious. On Facebook, Ben manages his impression by ensuring the constructed impression and his identity matched what he wanting to send out.

Once Ben got to college, he learned his impression of David was completely wrong. David was no longer identifying himself the way he did in high school. Instead, David was in the process of changing the enactment layer of his identity. David wanted to become more focused with college and to room with an individual, such as Ben, for influence and encouragement. In retrospect David is interested in developing an interpersonal relationship with Ben. Interpersonal relationships occur when two individuals influence one another, have repeated interactions and have a unique interaction pattern. The enactment layer is how we represent ourselves to others. It is presented through what we say, verbally or nonverbally, and the performances we put on for others.

Across the hall from Ben and David are Allison and Chloe. Allison and Chloe present themselves with having a close relationship, which is also exhibited through their Facebook page. Close relationships occur when two individual in an interpersonal relationship share an enduring bond, an emotional attachment and personal fulfillment. They have been friends for many years. What is also exhibited on Allison’s Facebook page is her identity of being popular and a cheerleader.

As the semester continues all four individuals become acquainted with each other and they started to bond. From their bonding, rituals were developed. For example, they spent time with each other by watching movies, having lunch or dinner in the dining hall, and playing Xbox.  Rituals are episodes with a special meaning and come with a special value. Towards the time of midterms, Allison suddenly became quieter; her impression towards Chloe had changed. She no longer wanted to socialize with Chloe or her other friends. The change in Allison caused Chloe a great deal of turbulences. Turbulence occurs when there’s a high level of reaction.

One day, before going to dinner, concerned with Allison absence from the group, Ben confronts Chloe. In turn, Chloe self-discloses her emotions to Ben. Wanting to solve the problem about Allison, Ben, using rationality, looks on Facebook for clues to figure out what is going on. It appeared on Facebook Allison hadn’t been on there for a while. After dinner, David checks his Facebook page and becomes surprised when he sees a recent post regarding Allison and her diagnosis of cancer. From seeing this, Ben and David both became confused. Despite not knowing Allison that long, they were under the impression they were good friends with her, and they thought she would have told them. When Chloe sees the post she becomes deeply hurt with Allison. She was also under the impression of them being close friends. What could’ve affect Chloe the most is how Allison didn’t go to her to discuss the situation. Chloe could very much be feeling Allison threatened the facework of their relationship by violating the rules of their friendship. Facework means the kind of effort we put into building our image within a relationship, it’s how the individual wants to be viewed within that relationship.  

From Allison’s perspective I feel the reason Allison couldn’t go to her friends is because of the uncertainty and turbulence she must have felt after finding out about the diagnosis. As a way for her to calm down and think rational, she vented on Facebook. According to the ventilation theory of emotion if we get it out, then we are better able to calm down. Allison could’ve also kept the information from Chloe because she wasn’t sure how to disclose it to Chloe. I feel Allison’s actions are being misinterpreted and her intentions were not to cause anyone harm.  Misinterpretation occurs when an unintended message by the sender is misconstrued by the receiver.

The case ends with Allison entering the room. From this point on I would like to believe Allison was able to restore the impression integrity of her and Chloe’s friendship by giving Chloe an account of her actions. I would also hope Chloe would be able to understand the position Allison is in and not hold it against her. After this circumstance I feel both girls would need to illustrate relational negotiation to negotiate new rules for their relationship. Their relationship is clearly in the mist of changing and with relationships being dynamic their relationship rules would also need to reflect the change.  

 

 

 

No Strings Attached

No Strings Attached is about two college students, Lindsay and Jerod. Lindsay and Jerod meet in a bar and very quickly become friends with benefits. At the beginning of their “encounters” Jerod lets Lindsay know he isn’t looking for a relationship because he just got out of one and he just wants to be single for the time being. In a way Lindsay agrees with his statement, although she seems hesitant about not wanting to be in a relationship. This causes her some uncertainty, as a way for her to manage it she rationalized the reasons on why, such as it’s her first year of college, and she’s having fun without being tied down. As the “relationship” develops their encounters start to become a pattern, although their autonomy remains.

On the part of Jerod, he’s enjoying the circumstance he has with Lindsay, he feels it’s stable. He gets to do what he wants and he’s free from having a relationship with someone. On the other hand, Lindsay starts to feel there isn’t any stability in the relationship. Stability is the predictableness a relationship has, both parties know what’s going on, they follow the rules, and they’re not thrown for a loop. The lack of stability causes Lindsay a great amount of turbulence and uncertainty, which is a period of high levels of reaction. For example Lindsay is bothered by how Jerod doesn’t call or text her until the early hours of the morning, and if they were to go to the bars or a party they would just get drunk, hook up, and pass out. It’s these types of episodes that cause Lindsay a great amount of turbulence and uncertainty. Through relational negotiation, Lindsay manages the turbulence and uncertainty by realizing she wants stability and integration with Jerod by wanting to be a part of his life.  Although Jerod doesn’t feel the same, he develops an interest in Jenna and prefers to try having a relationship with her. Lindsay finds out by witnessing their encounter at Jerod’s party and realizes wants going on.

I can relate to Lindsay’s situation on the difficulty of not knowing for certain what I want in a relationship, like her I had partaken in the friends with benefits a couple of times. Based on my experience, it’s something I now refuse to do. I personally don’t see a future in this type of “relationship”. It can cause a lot of hurt for one person, especially when feelings are not mutual shared or by having the other person meet someone else. I also noticed Lindsay illustrated the expression contradiction of relational dialects a couple of times by being open with her friend Whitney, and by discussing what was occurring between herself and Jerod. I feel this had also helped Lindsay in managing the uncertainty and turbulence she felt.