I'm Sorry for Your Loss

The case I’m Sorry For Your Loss is about how Susan Lawrence learns how to provide her best friend Libby Johnston emotional support after the death of her mother. Susan and Libby are close friends. Their co-orientation towards one another has insured their friendship for the past 15 years. This co-orientation includes Libby parents, especially her mother Marianne. The three of them spent several afternoons baking cookies and giggle about a neighbor boy. Marianne also supports the girls during their volleyball games and was there to help them cheer on the school’s football team.

It was during one afternoon while the three of them where baking cookies when Marianne learned about her fatale diagnosis. From that time on Susan was there to provide Marianna and Libby emotional support. As Libby was coping with her mother, Libby had to reappraise her emotions. Reappraisal of emotions is reframing an emotional response by trying to figure out new ways on how to cope with a situation so the individual may feel better. Libby accomplished this by becoming a little bit quieter, and by not returning to college temporary so she can spend time with her mother.

After the death of her mother, experiencing the hard emotion of hurt Libby became quieter. She was trying to reappraise her situation by staying at home and spending time with her father. Two months went by without Susan and Libby having contact. Susan wasn’t aware of what was going on with Libby. She assumed Libby would be fine. In turn, Susan invited Libby out on a summer outing to meet someone; only to find out Libby wasn’t interested. This causes Libby to become angry with Susan for not caring about her feelings. To put meaning into these actions, Susan discontinued providing Libby emotional support because she wasn’t certain on how. Instead Susan went on with her life. Libby in turn needs Susan so she disclose her feeling about how much she misses her mom. Although, she feels like Susan wouldn’t understand. With each girl feeling uncertain about the other it causes a great amount of turbulence and uncertainly in their friendship which leads to a dialectical tension. According to the dialectical theory there is a tension between two voices, autonomy and integration.

After the summer, on a whim Susan enrolled in a death and dying course. Susan felt this class could help her understand what Libby was going through. One day after class, Susan approached her professor Dr. Harrison and discloses her feelings regarding Libby and their friendship. Dr. Harrison proved to be a good resource for Susan. She taught Susan about the grieving process and how it was normal for Libby to be withdrawal and sad for the time being. To provide Libby emotional support, Susan learned she needed to allow Libby the freedom to be in the stage of grief that she is in. One of the best things for Susan to do right now for Libby is to accept this.  Susan can further help Libby by listening to her talk about her mother and her feeling, if Libby wanted to. Dr. Harrison went further along to explain how it’s important for Susan to provide Libby the emotional support on continuous bases. Providing emotional support doesn’t end after a day, instead it’s an ongoing process. The case ends with Susan surprising Libby at her mother’s grave site. After asking why she was there, Susan tells Libby how much she misses Marianne and apologizes for not being there for her, then she offers Libby the chance to talk.